1. I am straight, but I have a great appreciation for the beauty of women as well :)
2. I am really bad at a lot of things haha, but one thing that I think is most apparent recently is being aggressive. My coach tells me I need to be aggressive on the track every time he sees me. He even told me to be aggressive in line at Subway today, because I kept letting people ahead of me haha. And I am extremely passive in most situations and avoid confrontations. I forgive very easily and forget just as easily. I just have no desire to be angry or aggressive or competitive. It's just not in my nature for whatever reason. It's not necessarily a bad thing except when I am in a track meet and actually need to be aggressive and compete well. So I guess I probably should work on it now that I am on a team and stuff...
3. I would prefer not to say his name, but there is someone whose arms I would LOVE to be in right now. I shouldn't though and I am trying to get over him and stop liking him. There's nothing there on his end, and I am just setting myself up for heartache by liking him. We can't control how we feel though; and we can't help who we love.
4. Hm.. My best first date? That's a really tough question, because my memory of the dates are affected by the guys I went on them with, so the date might have been really good at the time, but I may have loathe the guy now and remember it as a terrible date just because I don't like him anymore. I will try to be objective though and base it soley off of how I felt ON the date not looking back on it. I don't know if it was actually our first date, but before we were "going steady", my boyfriend in Junior and Senior year of high school and I snuck out of our houses one summer night before school started, went to Giant Eagle at like 2am and bought lots of candy, and then, snuck into Lakewood Park and had a candy picnic by the lake and watched the sun rise. It was one of my favorite dates ever in general even though I still laugh at myself for dating the guy at all. Things like that make me miss dating a little bit though. It was terribly romantic and super fun. I recommend it to all couples :)
5. My self-esteem is pretty low. I think it's mostly because of my acne though. I can be a little annoying and boring, but I like my personality for the most part. I just wish I was a little skinnier and had pretty, smooth, clear skin. I would be a lot more confident if I just felt more beautiful and comfortable in my own skin. I still love myself a lot though and I don't let it get me down too much.
6. I actually don't have anyone I would consider my "best friends". I basically have friends and acquaintances. My friends are all people who are sweet, funny, loving, understanding, and good listeners. We like to hug each other and shower each other with compliments to brighten each others' days. That's how I would describe my friends :).
7. My favorite book is The Witch of Blackbird Pond. I couldn't really tell you why though. And it's like 8th grade reading level haha.
8. Biggest turn-offs: being disrespectful, being stubborn, being close-minded, immaturity, being perverted, laziness, being too pushy, being inconsiderate, being boring, too much social awkwardness, lack of good hygiene
9. Hmm... well, I don't really have a best friend to describe.
10. My favorite animal is probably the elephant, because they are gentle giants. They don't bother you unless you bother them and they just live very peacefully taking only what they need. And they stay in their packs and take care of one another lovingly :)
11. I miss my friend Brittney a lot. I haven't seen her except in passing two or three times this semester. We've both just been really busy lately. We've always been kind of on-and-off in our friendship not because we fight or anything. We actually get a long really well. We just have conflicting schedules and she doesn't live on campus.
12. The reason behind my last breakup: We had been dating a while and neither of us were happy. He wanted a less serious relationship. I wanted to be with someone that actually wanted to be with me. He went on a date with someone else, I found out, and we broke up kind of mutually.
13. Yesterday, I had breakfast with Samantha, worked for 2.5 hours, went to class, had lunch while working a voting table with my sister, had my weekly RA meeting, played games with a staff member's 7-year-old son for almost an hour, went to track practice, ran a little extra after practice, had dinner with my sister and some of my favorite people at ODU, wasted my life away on the internet, went to Lyric jeopardy in another residence hall, watched Hulu with my sister, and went to bed.
14. My greatest achievements: graduating first in my class in 8th grade, graduating high school with honors, surviving collegiate track, learning to forgive
15. Hmm I actually don't know who I dislike the most. I really only dislike a few people and I am working on learning to love them, so I'd rather not focus on anything I dislike, because it could be a set-back to my progress.
16. My favorite songs right now: You by Chris Young, Out on the Town by Fun., Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine, Carry On by Fun., Better Together by Jack Johnson, Glad You Came by The Wanted, Viva La Vida by Coldplay, Good Ol' Fashion Nightmare by Matt&Kim, Best for Last by Adele, Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Call it Off by Tegan and Sara, Stay by Lisa Loeb, I Would do Anything for You by Foster the People, How Many Kings by Downhere, pretty much anything by She and Him, Wavin' Flag by K'Naan, 2am by Poema, Base Down Low by Dev, Sleep With Me by We the Kings, and like a million more I'm sure haha. I have a lot of song obsessions!
17. My last kiss was very late at night on a school night of course haha. He invited me over to his room, we cuddled and he started kissing me. That's how it went down. Nothing too out-of-the-norm or romantic or anything haha.
18. What I find attractive in a man: humility, understanding, love, good hugs, healthy skinny with some defined muscle and maybe abs, intelligence, open-mindedness, being Catholic, being a snazzy dresser, being logical, chivalry, being kind and generous in general, being there for people whenever they need it/putting people first, hard-working, being sweet to his family, having interests (sports, writing, community service, etc.), having good values/virtues, honesty, loyalty, trustworthy, good communication skills, smelling good, some subtle way of showing interest like putting his hand on my shoulder or finding excuses to talk to me without being too forward, wanting the same things as I do (marriage, family, job, etc.)/having similar goals to mine, thoughtfulness
19. I've only really had carnival gold fish and one cat named Angel who my parents made me get rid of when I was pretty young :(
20. Mmmm ice cream! I love plain black raspberry, cotton candy, chocolate chip cookie dough, and vanilla berries and cream best. I cannot narrow it down further than that though haha.
21. One place I want to be right now: camping somewhere warm and summery with the boy I like cuddling outside the tent looking up at the stars and having deep conversation.
22. The meanest thing anyone has ever said to me? I'm not really sure. I try not to think about that stuff too much, because I like to be positive, but my dad and my ex boyfriend called me a slut/whore which kind of stuck with me for a while and hurt more than anything else said to me I think...
23. I've only ever lived in Ohio (Cleveland and Columbus)
24. I'll love you if... you are a nice person. That's really all it takes.
25. All I really know about my future is that I plan to graduate college and move out of my house eventually. I might do grad school. I am also currently discerning being a nun or sister. That's about it haha.
26. I guess my biggest internal conflict is just trying to be a good person while being tempted to do what is not good like wanting to date guys who aren't good for me, and wanting to skip Mass because I'm sleepy, and not helping someone because it inconveniences me, etc. I know the right thing to do, but I still have to fight with myself, because it seems easier not to do the right thing a lot of the time. Hopefully, it will become instinctual eventually if I just keep fighting my initial desire to ignore what is right.
27. Tomorrow, I will be going to Mass and hopefully on a run, maybe go to the library for a book sale, work on homework, and go to a prayer service and dinner.
28. When I get older, I would love to be a teacher.
29. My most embarrassing moment? That is really tough, because I'm not easily embarrassed at all haha. One of the workers in our dining hall actually told me the other day that he liked me, because I have "no shame in my game". But I guess the most embarrassing moment I can think of is when I was joking last semester about how all of my residents were moving out and mentioned one specifically who was moving out. I was joking about how my goal was to get rid of all my residents by the end of the school year and said I was excited she was leaving, but then, I realized she was actually within earshot of me, so it was really awkward and I felt the need to email her explaining that I was joking and wasn't actually excited about her moving out. She never replied, but she was still very friendly toward me when she saw me after that, so I guess we're fine. I still feel really embarrassed and bad about it though.
30. Two of my insecurities? Sheesh... only two? Well, I am definitely insecure when it comes to my looks for a few reasons- acne is a big one. I feel absolutely hideous just because I have acne, so that makes me really insecure in my own skin. My entire future is an insecurity for me as well. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life at all and that is really scary.
31. It would depend on how much money I won, but if I won a pretty large sum of money in the lottery, I would, first of all, pay off my student loans. Then, I would pay back everyone who gave me money to pay for school. I would give my parents some money to put toward a house under the condition that my siblings got put into Catholic school which I would also pay for. I would get my driver's license and buy a car. I would actually probably end up staying at ODU a couple more years and getting my education degree or doing Grad school. Depending on what was going on in my life, I might buy myself a house or just rent an apartment. I would probably buy myself some cute clothes and shoes. I would definitely donate a good chunk of money to the Church and Church-affiliated charities. I would also use some money to go on a missionary trip probably to El Salvador to work with Catholic missionaries there. I would put whatever money was left (if any) into a savings account I guess.
32. The boy I like... Hm.. Well, I actually like a few guys right now. The one I think about the most though is probably the one I like the most, so I will describe him. He's also a Senior at my school. He is very intellectual. He is very kind and he has a big heart, but he doesn't always use it as much as he should. He has a very romantic and poetic personality. He's very much the sensitive type of guy. He chooses his words very well most of the time. And all the girls fall in love with him. He's surprisingly humble though about it. He definitely is not perfect, but he's trying to be a better person. He's very beautiful. He can be very silly or he can be extremely anti-social and depressing depending on the day. He likes for everyone to be his friend, but he doesn't always put as much effort into his friendships as he should. Someday, though, he is going to be a very amazing person and I am very honored to be able to say he was my friend.
33. I think what I love most about myself is how easily I love and forgive. Everyone who knows me makes fun of me for never being able to be mad or mean and being happy and nice all the time. I haven't always been like this, but as I've gotten older and really focused on trying to be a better person, I've been able to forgive so much faster and judge so much less to the point that it's just become part of my nature to love people without judging them and to forgive them without needing a lot of time or an apology at all.
34. My biggest pet peeves? Well, I get really annoyed trying to read posts online when there are too many typos. I don't mind a few, but when it's like every other word or sentence, it really irritates me. I also hate it when people leave things out especially food at home or leave doors or cupboards open. When girls talk in a whine-y tone, that really bugs me as well. It's not cute or attractive and guys need to tell them that. They are grown-ups. No need to baby talk anymore.
35. I've seen the Spice Girls, Fall Out Boy, All-American Rejects, Motion City Soundtrack, Gym Class Heroes, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, the Pink Spiders, Another Found Self, the Ska-Ker Moms, Miley Cyrus, Metro Station, and others I can't think of right now.
36. My best friends are currently probably Cassie, Hayley, and Katie. Over the last few years, my best friends have been Alli and Brittney, but I don't see them much anymore lately. The people I actually call "best friend" are Cassie, Tyrique, and Ben, but I hardly ever talk to Tyrique or Ben haha. Eric, Brian, and Tay Wray probably deserve to be up there too even though I don't see them much, because they've been there a few times when I really needed a friend.
37. I am still not sure that I am going to get married and have kids, but if I do have kids, I will love however many God blesses me with (cheesey as that sounds). I would love a big family though. The more the merrier. I usually tell people I want 12 kids, but I'd be grateful for as many as I get.
38. My idea of the perfect date is going out to a movie in the late afternoon/early evening followed by dinner at Olive Garden followed by coffee and dessert at a Starbucks preferably the one in Barnes and Nobles that has Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. And then, going for a walk at night and just talking or maybe laying down and looking at the stars. Or doing dinner and coffee/dessert first and then, renting a movie and cuddling at one of our places while watching it and talking and falling asleep together. It depends on how far into the relationship we are. Going camping for a night or two and incorporating the stars and the walk is a great summer date for a couple that's been together for at least a few months. So any of those those three could qualify as my perfect date depending on the guy and how long we've been together, etc.
39. I am really good at baking usually. I have also had many teachers tell me I'm a very good writer. I can't think of anything else at the top of my head though that I'm good at.
40. My most traumatic experience... Um, I'm not really sure. I haven't had too much trauma. I'm sure it's either father-related or boyfriend-related though. Maybe when my dad called me a slut when I was 13 or 14? That was really hard to get over.
41. I would like to stay in Ohio I think though I have considered Nebraska a lot. It would also be pretty cool to live in the Vatican. It all depends on what I do with my life though. If I have a family, I want to live in the suburbs or country somewhere in Ohio or Nebraska. If I become a sister/nun, I'd like to stay in Columbus or go to Nebraska or the Vatican. If I end up living the single life, I'd like to stay in Columbus or Cleveland near my friends and family probably in a suburban or urban setting.
42. People say a lot of nice things to me, so it is really hard to pick out the very nicest. The guy I like always tells me I'm a really good and nice person and asks me to help him be better which I think is really flattering to have someone think you're good enough to help them be better. So I think that is what I will choose as the nicest thing said to me though there may have been other better things.
43. I do not like where I am right now. I actually keep wishing I could go back two years and re-do these last two year over again. I really liked where I was sophomore year. I was pretty and skinny and had really great relationships with my friends and God and free time and I had goals and ideas. Now, I barely have time for anything outside of work, school, and track, so all of my relationships are hurting. And I have no real goals. I have been breaking out like crazy and gaining weight and losing sleep. I just hope I get out of this rut soon and get back to a new and improved version of my sophomore self.
44. All I really hear right now is my dad snoring and me typing on my keyboard and the low hum of my laptop's fan.
45. I have a different relationship with each of my siblings. I don't really see or talk to my oldest sibling much since she moved out of the house a few years ago. She and I were on-and-off friends throughout grade school, but then, we were friends all through junior high and high school and we were pretty close until she started smoking weed and dropped out of school. We got into a big fight before she moved out of the house, but we seem to be okay now. We have very different beliefs and lifestyles, but the same friendliness and easy-going-ness and optimism. My next oldest sister and I actually go to school together now. We played together all the time when we were little and liked a lot of the same things (TV shows, Barbies, super heroes, comic books, etc.). She started to annoy me a lot when I was in junior high and going through the pre-teen/early teen years. In high school, I tried to befriend her, but she was going through her angsty teen years then and was too cool for me. We didn't talk much after I went to college, but when I did see her while I was home, we got along fine and I tried opening up to her and talking to her about deep things like religion, relationships, philosophy, etc., but we still weren't really close. We became closer this past summer and the beginning of the school year, but by the end of first semester, I was just really disappointed in and annoyed with her behavior and wished I hadn't gotten her into my school. Now, she considers me her best friend and insists she is mine, but I really don't feel comfortable talking to her about things and she gets on my nerves a lot of the time. I still love her though. I just don't think siblings should ever be together this much at this age especially when they're as different as we are now. My brother changed my life just by existing. He is super sweet and awesome and just makes me want to be a better person. Sometimes, I get a little irritated with him, because he will just go on and on about his games, but overall, I love being around him and he makes me laugh and smile. And my youngest sister reminds me a lot of the second youngest sister in a lot of ways probably because they look so much alike and were both the youngest at some point. She is very emotional though and always has to get her way which is very different from me, so I have a hard time keeping a straight face when she's crying over something ridiculous. But I love her a lot and she really looks up to me, so I guess our relationship is kind of like the model big/little relationship where I'm kind of leading by example and being a role model for her, so she can grow up to be like me.
46. I had some carnival gold fish when I was younger. And my family's gone through a lot of cats. The only pet that's ever truly been mine though was my cat Angel.
47. My biggest worry currently is school and the future in general.
48. Something I've wished for repeatedly is guidance.
49. My relationship with my parents is kind of rocky. We rarely see eye-to-eye. My dad and I only just recently got back on speaking terms. Up until I was 13, they were my best friends though. I loved hanging out with my parents and I told them basically everything. But I grew apart from them when I started dating and went to high school. I eventually started to resent them. Then, I forgave them and loved them again, but I still don't trust them completely or agree with them. I've learned to respect them though and to be grateful for them, because I think they're doing the best they can and that's really all I can expect of them.
50. What words make me the best about myself? I have no idea what that means.
51. Something I should've said a long time ago? "I might be depressed".
52. My last text message was to my friend Eli and it says "It's weird that the vault combination isnt the numbers everywhere else on the show. Also, that episode is ridiculously insane!" and it was in response to my last received text from the same guy saying "Let me know what you think about the episode"
53. What I hate most about myself is that I need a better filter when I talk and need to think and choose my words more carefully when I speak, because I tell people a lot of things I shouldn't and things I don't mean, etc.
54. Biggest turn-ons: thoughtfulness, chivalry, being taller than me, toned bod, classy attire, Catholic, saying my name, making me laugh, being a good hugger, being a good kisser, cuddling, sleeping with me, thick shaggy-ish hair, being good with kids, looking into my eyes, smiling while kissing me, holding my hands, touching my legs, buying me drinks, intelligence, romance
55. I don't know if there are words that really upset me...
56. What I hate the most about school: attendance policies, going over readings in class that we were assigned to read the night before, pop quizzes, and participation points
